Whoops...

Well. This morning started out good. I was sincerely planning on getting some good writing done. I got off to a start and my boss called. She was like "would you like to come to my office, I have some suggestion for your future". I was like "ok". I went to talk to her and well afterwards the day has just seemed a bit weird. I've not really been able to concentrate. That sort of thing can happen when there is something else on one's mind. See the thing is that like with 95% surety I'll be starting studies to do a doctorate when I get back to Jyväskylä. Surprising? Well I think so too. Well see there is this professor my boss just happened to mention me to and he just happened to have this place with funding but apparently no good student for it. And the deadline was like this meeting that happened today. So I went to my bosses office, she told me this and was like well what do you think. I was like "well, oh, öö, let me think, oh what the heck". I don't really have much else planned for the next four years or anything. Might as well decide in five minutes how I'm going to spend them.

Realistically the place is quite certain. The research has to do with what I am doing here. I'm interested. I want to be a crystallographer. Whether I really, really, want to do it is sort of unknown. I mean I was again planning to have an actual summer holiday and like take the spring easily with not much hurry to graduate though still working at it daily but having loads of time to spend with my friends and perhaps make some new ones at that. But starting to work on a doctorate? Where did this come from? Do I really want it? I've been trying to do things one at a time and starting work on a doctorate before getting my master's thesis done just doesn't seem to go with that program. Though it would make me want to graduate fast.

Ok so I really like living in Jyväskylä. I'd be able to continue living in my appartment with my fish and frogs and plants. Good reason?

But yeah. I can of course still turn it down and they might get to give the funding to someone else. I was sort of hoping to make more money than I'd get doing a doctorate once I graduate. Should that matter? Will I ever get a job in Finland if I do do a doctorate?

If I start doing a doctorate will people start to get intimidated by me? Should I start lying about my profession to people I meet in bars?

Am I really meant for independent research? Have I got what it takes? I know I'm quite lazy and I really don't take things as seriously as I think I should when it comes to my education sometimes. I just go with the flow, I think.

Yeah. I was suppesed to write about yesterday's climbing today. I got up the wall I had been struggling with but they had changed the part I could not get past so I don't know if it really counts. It was like a 5+ wall so it should have been difficult and it was not easy but anyway. See they had originally changed it because of this competition they had and had just not fixed it back to how it was supposed to be. I also got up other difficult walls and found some new ones I have to try next time. It is sort of weird that even though we go to the same place like twice a week there are still walls I notice and go "oh I could try that". Maybe it's cause I have to courage to try harder walls all the time. I'm not put down by not getting up the thing on the first or even the fifth go.

So whoops. What in the world have I gotten myself into. Opportunities just keep popping up. Oh I'd become an organic chemist too.

But I'd best be getting home to think about it and to clean my appartment. It's about time I did that.