All fun and games

I should really be working and I'm just hating that I can't seem to make myself work. I just don't really know what to do. I have like no ideas for the article anymore.

So I found this really ridiculous feature in Word - AutoSummarize. I was like "can this really work" so I tried it. And "surprisingly" it did not work. It picked up like apparently random sentences or parts of sentences as well as figures and titles of tables from the document and that was it. It made like no sense what so ever. I mean I guess it could work for another type of text but I really doubt it. Like what is the point in having a feature like that? Can't people summarize the texts a lot easier by themselves. But yeah, I don't think playing around with Word is considered working. I think I just need to start reading stuff. Otherwise I think this week at work has just been a waste of my time. I mean I have gotten some things done but nothing that required a whole week of working.

I had a fun night yesterday. I decided I wanted to play like Settler's of Catan and since "I have no friends" I decided to ask people in irc to play with me at Rentukka. And two people actually came to play with me. Nice of them to do so. We ended up also playing a few other games of which two were quite new to me and short and fun and quite easy to learn although the other one required some counting and remembering numbers. And yeah I won the game of Catan. :) They so did not see it coming. We also played Citadels and I won that one too. :) They so did not see that one coming. So yeah, me having fun kind of probably was because I actually won some games but it was a nice change from routine anyways. And for quite a while I was like the most beautiful girl in the whole bar. That's always nice. Of course for most of the time I was the only girl in the bar but lets not let that cloud the matter. Oh and they'd renovated the place. It was quite weird going in there since they'd like taken down walls and the place looked a whole lot bigger and it was too. The only problem was that since it was just sort of one really big room, sound went around the place in different way and not in a good way at that. I think they need to do something about it.

My little brother is coming over to see me for the weekend. I hope we have nice weather since we are planning to go kayaking. I'm also hoping for him to get way into climbing, to which I'm taking him today. :) We're also planning to go see a movie, Transformers. I hope it all works out good. I've got a car so maybe we can also do some weird traveling around the county to like places neither of us have ever been to. But before all this fun I still have to try to work for like four hours. Well I still haven't had lunch so that should take some time and then I have to go see this woman about going to Zurich.

Degrees, climbing and a sudden reminiscent mood

I'm just about getting there - I'm going to graduate soon. Not saying when since it might take longer for nothing is ever certain, but you will surely read it here the moment it has happened, unless I call to tell you first. I was just building up the degree with all the courses with this lady at the office. It ended up that I actually have quite a nice degree coming up because even though I have loads more study weeks than needed, they are organized quite nicely into minors and I only have like 9 extra study weeks that don't belong to any whole. Four of those are this one course I could not take into my main subject since it would have lowered my grade. so I should be getting my degree soon.

I was climbing yesterday and it was great. I didn't get up this wall I consequently have to get up on Friday but I did get to the same spot I got last time. Then since there were these guys there that went up this negative wall many times before leaving just to like get some exercise, I decided suddenly to go the same thing. I've only done the wall once like every time for the past weeks since I got up it the first time. I'd already gone up it once and had tried the hard wall, which took loads of strength so I was a bit skeptical about getting up the wall at all. Then these two new guys came in and I was like "really embarrassing if I don't get up this at all and then they think I can't do it at all". So probably powered by wanting to look good in front of strangers I got up it once. But that's not all. I was so excited about doing it once that I decided to try another time. And I almost got up. I just could not get a hold of the last handhold. Well after I rested a second and tried again, I did. But I (almost) did it twice in a row! How great is that. And like three times that day. And this is the wall I really do need like power to get up and real determination the first couple of times I did it. It feels nice having improved.

I was having coffee and I had this sudden flash of melancholy thoughts about my studies ending and how all my friends are like growing up (well me too) and how like our years of studying are coming to a close even though some of us are continuing on to a doctorate degree. I got into a really reminiscent mood. And well I think I started singing Bryan Adams Summer of '69 - " I guess nothin' can last forever - forever, no". That's what I do at times. It just comes to my head without me really noticing. Maybe my reminiscent mood was caused by me noticing this morning that I think I've liked the Manic Street Preachers for more than ten years. That's a long time.

But I have been thinking I have to start doing something new again. I'm sure I've mentioned this before. Like get out and meet new people. But with going to they gym and climbing and having to actually spend time at home doing laundry and stuff I really don't have that much time to do anything social. Not that I have all that many chances at it anyways. But oh well, things always happen in clusters anyways. I'm just not in one of those clusters at the moment. I just have to start doing things and then things will just start happening.

Articles and decisions

My morning tea -idea has not worked out yet. I came to work really late today since I just simply needed more sleep. I've gotten some thinking done too, which is nice, but nothing much done really. Writing an article is quite challenging really since I need to have all the things checked out and written in a really scientific manner. Like more so than in my experimental thesis. But I guess I just have to keep at it and read loads of other articles to get ideas like today I got an idea to check out the torsion angles of my conformationally differing molecules. Like instead of saying "the molecule is different" I can now say "the relevant torsion angles differ by blaa blaa making the molecule more planar..." Interesting I'm sure.

The weekend was really great. The weather was just perfect. I got to go snorkeling and swimming and to the sauna and ate well and took in loads of sun (covered by loads of sun screen) and just had a really vacation-like feeling. I didn't even drink that much (as would be traditional) because I didn't have any need to do so. I had fun anyways. I think I had like the best Juhannus ever. Not that one can really compare the ones I've had since the surroundings have been so different from the traditional cottage thing with a lake I did now for the second time (the first being 7 years ago).

It started raining on Monday but I can't really complain since the weekend was so nice. I just hope it doesn't rain when I go home or to the gym. I can't really decide on what to do. I could go to the gym and then clean my aquariums or go home, clean my aquariums and then go to this game night thing I've been meaning to go to for like a few years. It could be fun. But I really should go to the gym since I'm trying to go two times a week and tomorrow and Friday I'm going climbing so I can't go then and during the weekend I might have my little brother over so I can't go then either. Decisions, decisions. Maybe if at four it's raining, I'll go home and if not, I'll go to the gym. Either way I think I have to continue working on the article.

Morning tea?

I'm taking a "coffee break" and instead of having coffee I'm writing in this blog. I really should not drink coffee and thus not having any in the afternoon is just a really good idea. Not that I've had any coffee in the afternoons for ages anyways.

I've been thinking I should start going into the coffee room at work. Partly because there is also a possibility that the cafeteria is closed for the next few week or a month - I really am not sure. The thing I'd like to do is come to work like really early so that like almost no-one else is here and have my morning tea in the coffee room. I never actually have tea in the morning any more even though I make tea. I just always leave it. And coming to work really early would be a really good idea too since I could leave early. Logical. The only problem is that I have like big problems getting up in the mornings nowadays. It's not that I don't wake up but just that I don't want to. I don't really have any particular reason to get up from my bed. And yeah I feel tired in the morning but who doesn't at seven am.

I'm thinking if I get up at six, sharp, and get to work at seven thirty I should have good time to have my tea until most the people arrive. Though I don't know whether some people actually do arrive that early and have the same plan. But then again as long as there are not very many of them I should be fine. And well next week most of the people are probably on vacation so what better time to start. I just have to decide to really truly do it and get up in the morning. And I think I have to take my big cup to work. No use making two dl of tea when I can easily have like four.

But midsummer celebrations coming up. It should be good. I hope you have a relaxing and fun weekend. I hope I do too.

Hug the world?

Enough work for today. I may not have gotten as much done as yesterday but I have been working the whole time. Till like now anyways.

On Sunday as I was on the train back form Seinäjoki I was looking outside the window and admiring the Finnish summer. It was great. I felt like hugging it. Really and it was sort of weird. I did not really feel like hugging a tree or like anything like that but just like the view out of the window. Or maybe the whole world, I don't know. It kind of felt like going to sleep in my own bed when I'm really tired - I just feel like hugging the bed, but of course the bed is too big to be hugged. Maybe you understand what I'm getting at or maybe you don't. The point is that at times I really do love the Finnish summer. Like yesterday as I was bicycling home from a friend's apartment and there was a rainbow and otherwise the sky was looking really glum in one direction and the sun was shining from another. Then there was like a double rainbow on top of the Harju in Jyväskylä and the view from my window was just great. I took a photo of it but photos hardly ever really show the real colors and such. But it was great. Sadly I had to go to sleep and close the curtains.

But yeah, nothing new really. I'm going climbing today. I went two times last week and the other time was really great since I got further up this wall I haven't gotten up yet. I'll have to try it again today. It just requires a lot of willpower. (*Hands sweating...*)

Oh and the lunch-boy thing is getting really ridiculous since nothing is happening. I just feel really awkward at lunch and it's bothering my eating. Quite ridiculous. And I think I may seem really weird since like today I actually noticed myself humming along while I was looking for a place to sit. I was like doing the Smurf song or something and then I noticed it as I had to ask this lady if this one place was like free. It must have gone something like this "laa la lal lal laa, is this seat taken? oh I was humming out loud. Oh I'm speaking out loud..." I think I may still be in my German mood of "no one knows me, no one here really cares, why should I care if I speak to myself and stuff since these people are most likely never going to see me again and if they do, they won't recognize me anyways".

Provinssirock 2007

I had a great weekend. Went to Provinssirock at Seinäjoki. I hadn't been there in like three years. I'd been there for five years before the pause in going there. It was still the same really. It felt like I'd just been there, which was sort of weird since it had been so long. The sun was shining, there was no rain and it wasn't too hot or too cold. It got chilly at night but I was prepared so it was not a problem. The company was also great. I was with my twin, her boyfriend and my little brother. It was great having my little brother there too since it was his first real rock festival. Everyone had the same easy-going attitude so it was just great. (What can one say? It was great. That's about it. I'm also feeling really unwitty at the moment so no great post to come...)

The only minus points were that there wasn't really a band I really, really wanted to see. No Suede, Manic Street Preachers or such like the greatest gigs I've ever seen at Provinssirock. In the end it did not realy matter though since the weather was good and I had enough to eat. I'm hoping next year I'll get to go again and maybe there will be better bands performing.

Another minus was the stupid drunken people like the thirty year old teenagers at the school housing. They had just the worst teenage angst going on. One man wanted to die or kill himself at like 2 am when we were trying to sleep and kept talking about it with his friends. And then in the morning one of the women wanted to die since apparently her boyfriend had almost cheated on her and she'd been just in time to stop him. But yeah. I know people wanting to kill themselves is not funny but still. The people were like "old" for pete's sake and they we acting like stupid teenagers and I'm sure the reason they came to the festival was just to drink loads and do stupid things like cheat on each other so why complain when it happens. See I'm not into drinking at festivals. I mean what's the point. If I want to get drunk I can do it elsewhere like with friends at parties. I don't have to do it outside and pay loads to miss bands playing. I did have like two ciders on Saturday so I do have to admit that I was not totally sober. But yeah, other people might think it weird to go to a festival and not get totally wasted. I just had so much fun the first time I went to a festival and I did not drink anything then so why would I need to drink anything the other times I go to festivals. Provinssirock 1999 is one of my fondest memories ever and I did not drink anything back then. And I have to say that even though they did not have the incredible line-up they had back then, this year nearly parallels the great time I had back then.

Thanks to the company! :)

Post #150: Liquorice and research

I'm addicted to liquorice. I can't stop eating it right now. I bought a bag like on Monday when I went to the store while really hungry and tired. But hey, it's all natural ingredients and no added salt and only 0,4% fat. And well about the same number of calories I use in a day, if I just live, for every 100 grams. Not too bad and it tastes so good. :) I've read it's also nature's medicine to ward off depression.

I've been reading about what I'll be researching and writing a plan of it. It's interesting and all and like sort of just the thing to combine all the things I'm interested in. I'm just a bit worried that like loads of other people are doing the same research and whether I can really do anything new. And well I'd have to read like 10 years worth of research about the compounds to be sure I won't be doing the same things that have been tried and tested and published. And in addition to that this other research group in my university is doing like research on most likely the same topic. It's sort of confusing me. What can I really contribute except my charming personality, which everyone in this building and the next has yet to discover, and my lazy but very logical thought patterns that sometimes give a hint of intelligence. No but really. It seems in my research plan I've now put in a goal that is the scientific equivalent of - and when I'm finished, there shall be peace on earth. And well the scientific equivalent is something in the lines of - give me the structural formula of a molecule and I shall tell you how it will pack in crystalline matter. But the goal can't just be to crystallize some compound in different ways and get nice pictures published in scientific journals.

I think I have to continue finding articles on the subject to sort of grasp it a bit better. I've also put away the liquorice since too much is too much. One more hour or so of work and then I'm off to go climbing.

New office, new work

I moved office today. It's good since I'm closer to the rest of my research group and the lab I'm going to be working in. The bad part is that I'm now in an office with 2 other people and I'm farthest from the window. There are screens between our work places so I can not see the window. I actually think hardly any light from the window reaches my work place. What a shame cause I like looking outside while I think. Maybe I just won't be doing much thinking then. Oh well, since I'm most likely going to be in this room for quite some time I can finally think about bringing some stuff here. Like a frog poster and possibly a plant. At least I'll be needing a periodic table of the elements. Like anything to make this place a bit more cheery.

But yeah. Since I had my hopefully last exams yesterday, I have to now move on to other work. I have to plan my upcoming doctorate studies and research and really start writing the article. Planning the studies is the first thing to do just to get all that organized before my professor goes on holiday. Then I can just write the article all by myself. So new work coming up. I have to read about what I'm going to study and research. It's sort of funny since I'm sort of doing what I've been doing but just with like another viewpoint and I know like nothing of the compounds I'm going to be studying so it's sort of hard to write about what the point of my upcoming research is since I really don't know myself. I really have to get oriented with this thing but it's seeming to be a bit difficult at the moment.

I'll maybe leave work soon and go to the gym. I have no idea whether it's raining outside or not at the moment so I don't know whether to leave or not. I got wet this morning coming to work and it wasn't nice. Oh I'll just write a to-do -list and get going. It is already after four anyways.

No more reading, please

For the past three days I've just been reading for an exam at work. I'm way sick of it. I'm also way sick of having lunch alone. I think I may freak out. I'm sure people think of me as the weird girl who always eats alone. Not that it should matter what people think but I think I'm the weird girl who always eats alone. I think I may start talking to strangers soon since it feels like I never talk to anyone and stuff just keeps building up. Like a symptom of this is most likely me writing in this blog like almost every day. Right now I just don't feel like studying anymore but I have to since I don't want to have to leave it all for the weekend. I've actually done quite a good job at the reading since I have this system for doing it. I just have to keep it up till the end and then revise. And it could be time for a coffee break but the cafeteria is closed and going there twice all alone every day, I just would not go a third time anyways. I am so glad it's the weekend in like a few hours. I need to act loony and get loads of sleep. Then I need to get past next Monday and everything should work out fine. Like it always does.

But now on to the subject of biomineralization...

The corrections have arrived

I finally received the corrections to my thesis. It only took like two and a half weeks and two or three extra trips to the post office and other places by helpful people to get it to where it should have gone in the first place. So thanks to the people involved. :)

Now with my two exams coming up on Monday, I have to find time to check out the corrections. I don't know when I can do that. I think I should get like compensation for this thing as should my sister and mother. I mean because it really was the post office's fault.

But I'm just gonna drink the huge amount of smoothie I made and get going to the gym and skating. I'm planning to combine them again. The weather is just too nice not to go skating.

Still summer

The weather outside is great again or still. If the weather predictions are to be trusted it should be great for the rest of the week. How nice is that. Well it would be nicer if I did not have like Swedish till six almost every day. But this is the last week of that. I have the exam on Monday. I also have another exam on Monday. Very important that I at least get through that one. I also would like a good grade.

Update on the lunch situation. I said "hi" to my lunch-boy today. See I saw him over the weekend because I answered my friends phone when he was calling. Totally random luck. Then it was one of those "oh it was you on the phone" situations afterwards. I have to say that it was like maybe four a.m. at the time. And well that's really all there is to tell about that. But I was a total chicken at lunch and did not go sit in the same table with him. My good reason was that he was already eating when I got there and the line went really slowly due to like network connections being bad today and people trying to pay with visa electron and thus I'd only have been eating for a few minutes and then he'd have left. And he sat at this annoying table that is like where people walk past all the time returning their trays and stuff so it would just have been too much action for me to actually eat in peace. And I do have to say that this whole thing is really silly but I like having projects. Not that I know where I want all this to lead. I just play with people. That's what I do. (Yes, it's true and I just noticed it in the party this weekend.) I have to try to control my experimental flirting behavior.

But oh well. I have to get some more work done today and then it's off to the gym. I'd also like to go skating but I think I may have to leave that for tomorrow. And well I should be reading for my exams. I think good weather can be thought of as a good excuse not to ace my exams. Oh but I do have to ace them. Dilemma.

Summer

It's summer. :) It's great.

I'm quite proud of myself. I went to to gym this morning. I inline-skated there and had this healthy back -class. Then I skated around the lake again. I was gone like three and a half hours. I did have to stop in the center of town to get some things but otherwise I like went about the whole time. I'm feeling good about getting some exercise.

I actually fell on my skates. I was breaking for these traffic lights and suddenly decided to stop earlier for these other lights and fell. I had knee and albow pads and wrist guards on so the only thing I almost hurt was my thumb but that was nothing. It was really funny falling down. I don't really know how it happened in the end. I guess I just lost my balance. The only thing is that I now have a hole in green sports pants. It came from the skates. But no matter really. I bought the pants to be used in sports and they can still be used. But I am thinking maybe I should go check if they still have a pair of them at the store because I really like them. I do, however, have this feeling that I bought the last pair.

But I'm off to a party soon. I really just know the person organizing the party. But what better way to meet new people. It should be fun.

It's Friday

I think my life might have become centered around waiting for weekends to arrive. Or like waiting till I get out of work and get to do something. I haven't done all that much this week though and it's bugging me. Well I have to say that I've had my Swedish classes till six in the evening three times this week so that sort of takes my time away. And when I do get home, I have to eat something and after that I sort of just don't feel like doing all that much. The point is that I'm sort of feeling like the summer is going to just pass by without me really noticing it. Or like with me waiting for when I can go swimming or like when I can do other summer activities and then when I think I can, I will probably have so other things and miss out on the chance. But I know I should just stop thinking about the whole thing and just do what I want, which is sort of what I've been doing - I think.

I just get bored really easily. I like it when my life is hectic. I like it when I can do silly things. I like not planning what I'm going to do, but I plan all the same because I hate not having anything to do. I get really annoyed if people mess with my schedule, like cancel on me at the last moment and leave me with no time to plan something new. I hate waiting and I'm almost always early. I rather spend time with people than just by myself. Yet, sometimes I just don't feel like calling any of my friends.

Maybe I'll leave work early today. I've done some work. I need to study some during the weekend since I have an exam on Monday. It should be easy enough but I don't like not being prepared. I'm going to the gym after work today. I wonder which route I should take on my bike. I've never really gone there from here before. I also don't know which route is the best to take home. I guess I'll have to figure it out.