Title

Something has caught my attention while I've been working here at the biggest chemical company in the world (oh yeah). There are lots of couples wandering around the area holding hands. Old and young. It seems weird somehow. Not that I've been working in lots of places this big before, but I've not seen couples holding hands during work hours in Finland unless they've been teenagers. It just seems that it's not acceptable in Finland to be "showing feeling during work hours". Or maybe it's just me. *Couple passing, me speaking under my breath "can't that wait till you get past the gate".* (Oh, or maybe I'm just jealous I hear you saying. Maybe. A cute guy did just pass me in the hallway. Wouldn't mind holding hands with him, though I think he's too tall.) Maybe there's just lots of couples working here and half of them have lunch at the same time as me.

Local forecast for today: Slight chance of rain or thunder later on in the day or in five minutes. Most likely light or heavy showers just when I have to go somewhere. (Oh it just started raining. Let's change "slight chance of" into "certain". It rains every day. I'm really getting bored of it. It's even harming my social life if I can even say I have one here.)

I should get going home. Gotta do my dishes before the landlord comes by to sign my new contract. Have to go buy some bread too.

Dancing makes me happy

It's raining. Suprise, suprise. Oh well. Yesterday there was cool thunder and lightning. It was "very very frightning". It was just getting dark at about eight o'clock and the clouds were this really blueish dark grey. I waited by my window to see some lightning. There wasn't much though, even with the clouds so dark. I like lightning (when I don't have to be outside). I even saw a rainbow earlier that day over the castle on the other side of the river. I tried to take a picture of it though I don't think it will show well on it. I think it's worth while to take pictures of the view from my window. That's the thing I think I look at most of the time anyway. Only having pictures of parties and such gives a very crooked image of what I've been doing here.

I had tons of fun on friday. Went out with friends first for ice cream (had the schwarzwalder kirsch becher :D which anyone with the same German book in high school will appreciate...). Then we went to this bar. It was quite a nice place. I even made a friend there - John the origami swan. Well he thought he might be a fenix since he was sort of orange but I doubt it. He wanted to stay at the bar when we left to try to hit on the bar maids. I'm not sure I'll see him ever again. What a shame. Well then we went to this place to do some dancing. It was great. Haven't gotten to dance properly in like ages (in April I think I was dancing). They played this 60's mix so I knew all the songs having listened to my sixties collection for a few years now while cleaning and such. On the other side of the place they had this reggae sort of performance and that was way fun too. It didn't even rain when I biked home. It was a good day.

Oh, I've met a Jürgen.

On Saturday I went looking for a dance mat. I could not find one. How weird is that? Well today I've been searching the internet and tomorrow I think I'll take my credit card with me and order one. It's not too expensive. I just have to find a store I can trust. Getting the usb converter should be no problem since those I did find even in the stores. I wonder if I should get one for just one dance mat or buy one for two just in case my old one brakes or something. What do you think? I got really excited about getting the dance mat on friday so I have to get it quick. Oh, of course if I got two then I could give them to my little brother when I come home or something. Will have to give this idea some thought today. It's also more fun when two people dance at the same time. Hmm.

Me and what's outside the window

Suprisingly it's the weekend again. Or when I leave work in like half an hour. I actually have plans. Going out with friends (or with "" don't know, but anyway). It should be a change from just reading books at home. I hope it doesn't rain when I have to bike across the river. Last time it did. It's been rainy today. (Well it's been rainy most every day so no suprise there except for the locals since it's apparently not so rainy usually...) I'll have to try to be talkative tonight. Have to ask people questions about themselves and try to actually be interested. I'm sure I'm a very bad friend always being interested in just me and not seeming to care how other people are doing. I don't know how people put up with me sometimes. Me, me, me, my, my, my. I'm sorry. I could say I'll change but it's not likely even if I try. Yeah. I've had time to think about things. Or mostly just thought about myself but that is the most interesting subject isn't it. Well to me at least. (Must stop and write about something else.)

From the lab window I can see what people have told me is a mental institution. It doesn't look like one. Before I knew I used to watch the people there on a terrace and want to also be there. It would have been a good place to have lunch. I can also almost see the Rhein behind piles of gravel. I can see the tops of river boats, the kind that can go on a river carrying heavy loads but would not make it in the open see. Or it seems like that to me. What do I know about boats anyway. The other bridge is also visible from the window and I can see cars and trams going but all the time. That one is the nicer bridge I think. There's also this building with domes on the other side of the river. I think it's a church of some kind. I can also see it from my window in my appartment. The roof of the building opposite my window is lower than where I am. When it rains there are always big puddles on the roof. I don't think that can be good for the building or at least the roof. There's moss growing on it. Oh but that's not all but maybe I'll tell about all the trees and the stuff on the right side of my field of vision another day.

Nothing to tell

I've gotten some things done today. Good thing. Haven't been so lazy as usually.

Got depressed yesterday when I noticed lots of inline skaters gathering at a square when I was coming from the store. Thay had that thing where they skate on the streets on the lovely smooth paving (not the bricks that are on like every bike and walkway) and cars have to move over because there's cops seeing they do. Well I was just about starving and really tired (two thing probably connected. Make note: eat more at lunch.) so of course I could not join them. I just looked at them really jealously and walked home. While I was eating my dinner of bread (didn't feel like doing the dishes, which I would have had to do to cook.) they went past my window. Like at least 50 people (or maybe a hundred for sure) sliding on the smooth paving in front of my house. I was really depressed. I should have checked when the thing was on the internet but I just didn't get it. I would have gone with them if I had. The weather was great for skating. Not too warm but sunny and nice.

Oh I have to go home before it starts raining. Have to go by the post office since I apparently have a package waiting for me there. So that should be good. I wonder what's in it. :)

"Excuse me. Come this way..."

I got checked at the gate today coming in to work. It was like being at the airport. "Please could you come this way in to this little booth... Take out all the things in your bag and show them to me." The thing is that had my friend not told me that he got checked one day I would probably have freaked out or at least been kind of weird about it. Now, I was just like "Oh, OK. No problem. Here's my lunch, my phones, a book and all these other items that weird people like me carry around..." I had to walk to work because I forgot to take a bike early enough yesterday so the morning was kind of weird already. I don't really know what they were looking for. Maybe a camera. No cameras allowed. They didn't check my papers to see if I was carrying any information that wasn't allowed to leave the premises. My friend has a memory stick (not allowed) and they didn't mind that. Maybe they thought I was a terrorist. I do maybe look the part. I was just thinking this morning how I was doing my "everyone move - and if you don't I'll slam right into you" -walk. People moved out of my way quite nicely. (Oh like when I go inline skating people look really scared like I'm just going to run right into them though I'm trying to look nice and all.) Oh well. Was fun and all.

Oh and yes. I took my own lunch today for the first time. The thing is that I ended up not eating it since I went to lunch with my boss. I even took a book so I could quietly read it while eating. I think it's a sort of weird coincidence not having to eat it. Now I just have to remember to fetch my lunch from the refrigerator so no one will throw it away. I had to put my name and the date on it so I guess they throw the old ones out.

Gotta go home now. It's way late to be at work and I'm tired. I should check the news though. I have no idea what's going on in the world. Found out today that it was a really dry summer in Finland. Forest fires in Russia and such. Maybe some country has attacked their neighbor again. I wouldn't know.

Open invitation

I'd like to invite all readers to come and visit me here in Germany. Any time is good for me. I have 10 days of vacation I can take at any time and I have no plans for the weekends for the rest of the year. I can house 2 people, who like each other, on the floor and then in case of emergency or other good reasons 1 person, whom I like, next to me. (Vegetarian breakfast included. Now also with coffee.) There's lovely sights only 30min by train right near here in all directions and right in this city. Whether you are interested in medieval churches, towns and castles, wines, partying, romantic walks on the Rhein (romantic company not included), pretzels, me, bratwurts, shopping or beer, they can all be found here and lots more. Book now and you'll get your tickets cheaper. Just fly to Frankfurt and take a 30min train ride from there and I'll come to pick you up from the station.

Welcome, welcome.

Weekend coming

Friday. Finally or already, I don't know. Yesterday I had to check the calendar on my phone just to make sure what day of the week it was. I can sleep late tomorrow. That is what I've been waiting for. I really don't like waking up at 6.30 every morning and it raining every morning doesn't make it any more fun. I've even started pressing the snooze button, which I've never done before. I've always just got up. But it's been getting sunny around lunch time for the past few days. It's made my lunches a bit better and today I even had this new sandwich thing.

I may also have plans for the weekend (other than reading a book and cooking that is). Talked with a friend on tuesday about taking a trip somewhere. Like maybe to Worms. I'm not that excited about it but I hope we go somewhere.

I need to meet new people. Or not just meet but befriend.

I think I have to start exercising more. I went inline skating yesterday and it was really great. Felt great afterwards and would have wanted to go on a longer trip but I didn't know where to go. Maybe I should have just gone back and forth on the nice pavement I found. I even fell while crossing tram tracks just where some of them combined and such (bad place to cross for sure). Glad I had my knee pads and wrist guards. I think someone laughed at me from the tram stop. Didn't hear them that good since I was laughing at myself. The thing is I think I'm running low on endorphins and falling sort of got the production up so that's why I wanted to keep skating for longer. Thus I need to start exercising since it gets me in a better mood. I've finalyy figured what is missing in my life here... I need my dancing mats. Dancing mats -> exercise -> happier me. I think I have to go buy one.

Getting out of work now. A bit early again. I think I've not done as much as I could have this week. Or well I think that's accurate for the whole time I've been here (or maybe my whole life so nothing new there) but even more for this week. But can't do anything about it anymore. Going home. Hope you(the reader) have a nice weekend.

Lunch blues

I don't like lunch time. I like eating but I don't like lunch time. Huge problem. (And yes I am aware that in the grand scheme of things this is only a little problem since some other people don't have lunch breaks, some don't have food, others don't have a job, no money and so on and so forth. I on the other hand "got my arms, got my legs, got my fingers, got my...". Sorry, the song just started playing in my head and I probably didn't even get it right.) Now to the explanation.

I used to go eat with my "friends" like at least once or twice a week in the cafeterias. Now I don't anymore. No-one has asked me, the nicest people have left and I'm not one to call. I have no way to pay for my food in the cafeterias so I can't eat in those alone. (Ok so if I visited the bank to ask for a card with a chip and actually got it, then I could.)

I've gone to this one cafe right near my gate lots of times. The food is good and not too expensive but there's no change. Same meatless sandwich every day for the past 2 weeks and before that another one. It's getting boring. Not just that but the sales people probably recognize me by now and know I don't eat meat but they can't yet be so nice as to maybe make some other sandwiches. Oh, and I'm sort of embarrashed going in there like every other day all alone and probably looking annoyed (which I am, being always hungry and having to take the same sandwich). I don't want to go there anymore.

I've also eaten at a lunch room in my building (there's one on each floor). When I eat there I always get a sandwich from this other sandwich shop near the gate (though I could bring my own lunch but I haven't gotten orientated into that yet). This sandwich is even more boring and not even good but that's not the biggest problem. People sleep in the lunch room. Yes, sleep. I feel really quilty going in there and munching chips and a sandwich when other people are sleeping. The place is really horrible. Bad atmosphere. (I miss the coffee room at my last job.) I don't want to eat in the lunch room anymore.

There's also other restaurants I could eat in like a kebeb place I've gone to a few times but I don't want to eat in those by myself. Besides it always rains and I don't want to go any further than that one cafe.

The depressing end result is that I don't want to go have my lunch break. I really dread it. I have to though since I do need to eat and my co-worker wants to sleep during lunch in the lab. This situation is really getting to me. Last week I could still handle the it but this week I'm just really not liking it. I don't know what to do about it. It's ruining my work days.

(Otherwise work is good. I like it since I actually know what to do in my experiments and I'm getting confident in doing stuff on my own. I got the books mom and dad sent me yesterday so no problems with free time either.)

Oh. Found it...
I got my hair, I got my head. I got my brains, I got my ears. I got my eyes, I got my nose. I got my mouth, I got my smile. I got my tongue, I got my chin. I got my neck, I got my tits. I got my heart, I got my soul. I got my back, I got my sex. I got my arms, I got my hands. I got my fingers, Got my legs. I got my feet, I got my toes. I got my liver, Got my blood. Got life , I got my life. (Ain't Got No/I Got Life, Nina Simone) :D

Little rat.

I thought I would not write today but it seems I can't not. Addiction.

I saw a rat running outside one day. I'd never seen a live wild city rat before. I saw a huge dead one as road kill in Kansas but no live ones before. The funny part was that my innitial thought was "oh a little furry animal". No "cute" thoughts though. But then I was like "it was a rat, yuck". The funny thing is I rather saw a live one than a dead one. Much less gross. I think it might have been friends with the drunkards always hanging out near the mall. It scurried right near them.

I bought a coffee machine yesterday. Haven't used it yet but I invited a friend over for coffee. Maybe I can make him play Citadels with me. It's my evil plan.

Oh and yesterday when I was taking another route home from the supermarket guess what I found... Another grocery store. And this one closer to my the house I live in. I have to go check that one out one day. I do like the big supermarket. Lots of fresh pasta to choose from...:)

Oh, whatever makes her happy on a Saturday night...

On Saturday night I stayed home, made my favorite food (spinach tortellini with red onion and pepper in a pan, Old Bricks Inn style, yummy), even had some wine with it (pretty good red, 250ml for 99cents), listened to Suede and read the book I bought earlier that day. It was kind of fun. Never thought I'd drink anything alcoholic alone unless just before leaving for a party where I don't know anyone (done this maybe twice). I'm sort of feeling guilty for doing something I said I'd never do (elina, "doing nothing, doing it at you" Nada Surf). Who knows what I'll be doing next (getting back with exes, smoking cigarettes and eating meat...?). I certainly hope not. Oh, but it's not so bad unless I am now on my way to becoming alcoholic.

The book I bought said "Don't read this alone, don't read this after dark, but do read it". I was kind of contemplating whether I should buy that one or a Brittish singles book. Went for something else again. The book wasn't so scary. I ended up finishing it on sunday and not even late. It had like maybe 600 pages. Now I am quite annoyed since I have to go out and get another book. Last time I stood in front of the shelf for like 15 minutes talking to myself trying to choose a book. They'll start wondering about me in the store if I do that every other day.

The smart thing would be to not buy a book but to read the one I haven't finished "Polymorphism in Molecular Crystals" by J. Bernstein. Yeah. Sounds exciting doesn't it. Not that it isn't interesting for sure and if it wasn't then I'd be in big trouble writing my thesis. I'm just lazy when it comes to studying especially since I work everyday till four and get home at around five writing this blog and all.

Oh and I did go out on Friday night so I didn't spend the whole weekend by myself. On sunday I even left my appartment to bike across and back on both the bridges, which was something I've never done before. If it only stopped raining every day I could actually get out more and not have a good excuse to stay at home.

People leaving, me dreaming

One more fun person left today. He had a goodbye party yesterday. It's a shame I had to leave early having to otherwise bike home alone. I think the party was just starting when I left. But it's ok since I don't think I was feeling all that social because I think I was tired. I think there's a goodbye party like every week and it's making me feel sort of funny staying here. I think I've gotten used to the part of the person that leaves, not the one that stays. I think I've never met so many people in such a short time that could be considered at least almost my friends. It's weird. Though if there were less people they might actually get to know me better and not just as the quiet finnish girl. I don't consider myself a quiet person (though you may correct me if I am) and here it's just hard with not speaking German and not being sure people understand me even if I speak english.

I've been waking up having this weird feeling that I wasn't having my own dream. It's really bizarre. Usually (I dream a lot) I've been the main character of my dreams or at least almost, no matter how weird the actual dream has been. This thing is really freaking me out (or well, I guess I don't really get freaked out being such an unemotional person as I am, but anyway). Maybe it's because I'm really extending my own personality trying to make friends here. I think I have to sleep more to get this sorted out. I don't want to have my own dreams back.

Oh I ended up taking a pizza at the restaurant on wednesday and not very suprisingly, it came last. I would have taken pasta but I think all but the one with tomato sauce had meat in it. I can have tomato sauce at home. At the restaurant I was also in the middle of this language zone where people on my far left were talking german, people right around me french and the people on my far right english. It was really annoying and I was mostly quiet. It's no fun being quiet all night and having to wait for my pizza quietly while other people eat. At some point I was thinking jumping around or just doing something weird just to get all the talking energy I had in me out. I think I ended up talking to myself and grinning. It might also be that I have nothing of interest to say to people. Either way. I think I'm getting all that energy out by writing this blog. I wonder who all are reading this.

Should have known

So yesterday I went to broaden my knowledge of the area and what do I find... A big supermarket hidden right near my house. I should have gone there before. I knew all the people living in the center of town could not just shop in the small stores or go to the big markets outside of town. So I go there and look around. I actually did sort of guess there would be a store and took my shopping bag with me. I ended up buying ice tea, ginger ale and these plastic containers for keeping half of my macaroni&cheese and such fresh for one day since I can't eat a portion in one go. Well I could maybe but that wouldn't be healthy. I think I will go back there today or tomorrow to get some food. They also had Settler's of Catan with this Atlantis addition for just 24.95eur. The pieces are plastic and not the wood I like but I'm thinking of buying it. Though I might not have anyone to play it with, at least not yet.

I got a message today and got asked to go out to eat with the group. I was not expecting it but it's really nice. So off again to our favorite Italian restaurant where we get free tiramisu and a shot of averna for dessert. I think I'll have some pasta today since it always takes ages to get the pizzas and if I take a special one it takes even longer since apparently the cook doesn't understand when one changes the toppings. Though they might have pizza day on wednesdays. But no. Pasta for me today.

I've been at the microscope all day today. Finally got the last of my first experiments analyzed. I've been putting it off and doing more fun things but now it's done. Good for me. Tomorrow I'll be able to start something new and actually have space to work. Well that's if the stuff I've ordered has comes tomorrow. I hope it does so I don't have to just sit around and look busy. But gotta go now. Bread store and then home.

Oh no, routine

No more exciting new things every day and not knowing what I'll be doing in the next hour or day. I think I'm starting to develop a routine. The signs have been there allready for a week or two maybe. I go to work, have lunch in the same cafe almost every day now that I don't join friends for lunch since no-one asks me, eat the same bread since they've started only having one no meat -sandwich, write in my blog in the afternoon before going home from work, stop by the store on my way home and mostly just read a book till I go to sleep. I might have to get out more. Well last week I was out quite a bit but I think this week I'll do an experiment where I don't call people, or maybe I'll call one person, and see if anyone calls me. I know it might not be a good idea but interesting none the less. I think I must do something by myself though.

If it's nice one day maybe I'll try biking across the bridge. I've never done that since I always take the tram. It should be interesting. Then I have to go check whether this one place across the autobahn is a store of some sort. Never been there. Have to also go skating. I should have gone yesterday but didn't and it is rainy today so I'll most likely not be able to go. Maybe I should also try to make so proper food for myself. I've been eating noodles, macaroni&cheese (yes and it's good) or pasta with tomatosauce for the past month. (Though I have been eating out a lot so no worries.) I also have to study some or actually quite much. So I should be able to pass the time jsut by myself.

I want to play Citadels with someone. I just wanted to express this desire.

There has been talk that I might have so much to do that it would be possible for me to stay here for a few more months than planned. Interesting idea. Just heard about it myself. More discussion on this in two months time at the latest.

I feel like talking about food. Wonder why. Best get going home to finish off my macaroni&cheese from yesterday.

Lazy Monday

I don't t think I've done anything proper at work today. Seems like I've just been trying to look busy all day and the day is not yet over even. But I'm writing now since I will go get my prescription safety glasses later on and I think that should be done during work hours. I hope this time I'll really get them since the last time I went to go get them the place was closed for lunch. I was like 5 minutes late. It was really annoying. The place is like maybe 3 kilometers from where I work in the opposite direction of where I live. I don't even get why they can't just send me the glasses.

Weekend was fun. I saw places I've never seen before and wasn't at all bored. The bad thing is I didn't get any proper time for just myself. Though today I've planned just to hang out at home and read my book. That's after I get the glasses and go to the store to get some food of course. The great thing about the weekend is that I've now broadened my knowledge of the area where I live. It feels nice. I think I want to take more trips to the little towns near here like maybe next weekend. I just need to find someone to go with me. Or else I'll just go inline skating near where I live. I actually found this paved bike path which is nice since most of the ones here are made of bricks and so not good for skating. At this moment I want to go today but I think when I get home in an hour or two I might not feel the same way.

So, I've been lazy today and I'm blaming it on the weekend since I didn't have to chance to be lazy then. Hopefully tomorrow will be better. I've finally gotten some interesting results at work so I am now more interested in what I'm studying. It feels exactly like what one of my professors said talking about why he does research... It's boring for long times when there's no interesting results but then you find something out and have the enthusiasm to work more. I guess interesting results are kind of like a drug. I don't think I'm addicted yet though.

Friends and cleaning supplies make me happy

I have to be at the train station in an hour. A friend of mine is coming for a visit from Finland for the weekend. Should be fun. We are going to try to see the local sights. I hope the weather will be nice. It has been sort of cold and rainy for the past couple of days or the whole of this week actually.

I got really excited yesterday when I finally got around to buying a mop. It was great. The floor is finally clean and with the thing I bought it is really easy to get all the hairs off the floor too. Since I have no carpet it just seems like there is always a lot of hair on the floor. Or else I'm losing my hair or then I keep dragging in the neighbors hair too (which I probably do since my hair is not black). But I don't think I've ever been so happy after buying cleaning supplies. I guess it's just that since I can keep living in my appartment for the whole time I am here it is starting to feel more like home.

But yeah. Gotta go. I hope I get to see a friend of mine today who is leaving tomorrow. I've been trying to talk people into coming to the Irish pub today. I hope they do.

Books and movies

Bought a book yesterday. Another one by Diana Gabaldon but not in the series I've been reading. (Mom, can you send me Voyager and the book after that one (Drums of Autumn I think)...? I'm addicted.) I started reading yesterday in front of the movie theather but didn't get far. Didn't really get what I read either. I guess it's one of those books you have to read for a while to get into the world and the language like Kalevala and the Odyssey but not nearly as hard to get into (and probably not nearly as good in the sense that the book I just bought is not an undisputed classic like the ones I just compared it to). Well anyway. I did have a hard time deciding which book to get. It was either the one I bought, some action by Clive Cussler or something by Terry Pratchett. I decided mostly on part of me being in the world of the book I bought partly allready since it is about a side character of the series I've been reading. The bad part is I haven't come across the particular character in the series yet. I hope it doesn't interfere with my reading. Maybe I'll get some british singles book next time. Then I could read and all the while think how much smarter than the characters I am. Always fun that is. Just might not be willing to pay 10eur for something that could be crap.

So I went to see Pirates of the Caribbean 2 yesterday. It was entertainig and all but to anyone else who's seen it: what's with the ending?? It just seems like they must allready have a contract with Johnny Depp and the other actors for another film. It's really annoying. But even more annoying is the fact that popcorn cost like way more here than in Finland. The combo that in Finland costs like 5.50eur cost like 7eur here. Outrageous prices. So no popcorn in the movies for me.

Oh the movie ended up costing as much as my new book if I take into account the tram rides there and back. Hmm. I guess one could compare the two since both are entertainment. Spent another 20 eur again though. But yesterday was payday. I should probably now start using my German account.